As I prepare to leave Arizona and fly home for Thanksgiving Break, I am faced with what seems like a million emotions.
By the time I board the plane and take off toward home, I will have been in Arizona for a little over 3 months. 3 whole months. And while maybe that doesn’t seem like the longest time to you, it certainly is to me.
Prior to college, the longest I had ever been away from home was 2 weeks, and that was for sleep-away camp. 2 weeks is nothing compared to 3 months. I have lived in a completely new and different state with all new people for 3 months.
And now, I’m just supposed to go “home,” back to the place I lived before this. I am supposed to say hi to the friends from my town that I haven’t seen in 3 months. I am supposed to visit family while I’m “in town for the week.” Do you know how weird that is?
I mean I get that everybody does it. I’m not trying to make my situation sound more unique or different, and it certainly isn’t a problem. But it’s really weird when you think about it.
I haven’t slept in my bed, been in my home, driven my car (or a car for that matter), cuddled with my dogs, cooked in a kitchen in 3 months.
I haven’t been to the mall, or my town’s food places, or back to my high school (where I spent the last 4 years!) in 3 months?
I haven’t seen my best friends, any of my classmates, most of my family, or really anyone that I grew up with in 3 months.
That is so strange to me.
It’s strange because here I am, about to “come home” for the first time in 3 freaking months and I am like actually nervous about it. I’m nervous to leave the place I was initially nervous about coming to. I am nervous to go back to the place where I spent the last 18 years of my life because I have spent 3 months somewhere else.
I’m nervous to see those people and be in my home. I’m nervous to feel out of place.
I’m sure it gets easier and it won’t seem so strange when I’m back in December or for the summer and the breaks thereafter but right now, it’s pretty damn weird. I’m coming home, and I’m nervous and it’s weird and maybe it’s because I don’t know if I’ve changed. I don’t know if they’ve changed. I don’t know if home has changed in these 3 months.